Getting real.

These last couple days (it’s Tuesday) haven’t been great.  I made brownies, have been eating them.  I bought processed vegan food, have been eating it.  I haven’t been planning my meals, not really.  So these are not the actions of someone who is trying to change her life/body.    I am sitting here, making plans that will help my goal: no processed foods, cutting out added sugar and I am not typing them because as I think about typing it, I’m already planning on how I’m going to break that commitment.  So fucked up!  I have serious issues around food, which I knew but it’s really disturbing how deep they go.    Okay, that’s it.  Starting tomorrow, I’m cutting out added sugar.  I’m going to do it for the rest of the week and I’m going to do it to prove to myself that I can do it.  I’m not going to include what I put in my coffee but everything else is verboten.  4 days, Wednesday through Saturday, this should be easy.  I am stronger than this.  I am better than this.  I’m not some silly teenager who is a slave to her taste buds, I’m a strong woman who wants to be a role model to her children and others.